I'm fondly referring to my first week of work as The Week of Worry. It was a week of "in-service" for the elementary school teachers and, for me, a time to hear people talk about all the translating I would be doing, how I would be the go-to resource for parents who don't speak English, the problems I would be expected to solve, etc. etc. By the time Thursday's open house rolled around, I was terrified. I was the only Spanish speaking resource in a building of almost 500 kids with a Hispanic population making up half of the school. I was expecting to be swamped and incapable.
I ended up making it through the evening with ease, and the school hired another employee in the same position I have, so I now have someone to bounce ideas off of, joke around with and share the workload with.
Weeks two and three were the honeymoon phase of my relationship with this new job. I hardly struggled at all when working with students in the classroom, and they all (for the most part) paid attention and followed directions. It seemed that nothing could go wrong.
And then it did.
I was asked to work with a student who needed help with her alphabet. I was expecting her to be at grade level, so I thought it was a behavior issue - that she didn't like me and didn't want to work with me for whatever reason. As it turns out, that wasn't the case. She is quite far behind. But after working with her that first day, I was on the verge of tears. Everything that day became so much more difficult.
Now that I'm on the other side of that situation and have found some great resources and people to go to with issues like that, I'm again seeing how many great things there are about my job. The kiddos are getting to know me now, and I get all kinds of hugs every day. They wave at me when I come in or leave their classrooms or see them in the hallways. They tell me I look pretty, that I look like Cinderella or Princess Jasmine, that they like my makeup. They get excited to tell me about their days. In math class today, one student told me how tired he was and how he wanted to quit working, but he was going to keep on working. And he did.
I've learned a new way to teach the alphabet, and I've learned how much patience teachers have to have. It's far and beyond anything I ever thought.
But I just couldn't help from grinning ear to ear when I overheard a student I work with tell his teacher "I LOVE school!" as he was leaving today. That alone makes me ready to be back at work again on Tuesday :)
Friday, August 31, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Maybe it's just my 20s
But I have been trying so hard lately to piece together sections of my life.
How did this piece fit with this one? What would have been different if this hadn't happened? Did I do everything I should have in this piece to get to this piece?
And I can't help but wonder if what many others have said is true...is life just a series of random occurrences?
I want it all to fit together perfectly, to make sense of it and analyze it and figure out how I got from Point A to Point B and where Point C might be.
But it just isn't working.
Honestly, I am loving my job. And while it does fit with one of my degrees, it doesn't with the other. I wonder if I just wasted my time and spent a whole lot of time spinning my wheels and causing myself unneeded stress to get to this point. Did I even pick the right degrees in the first place?
I guess I just feel guilty and strange about all the time I spent trying so hard to achieve and achieve and achieve to get to the point where I'm at. I wouldn't have had to do all that I did to be where I am now.
But I guess that wouldn't have made me who I am today.
How did this piece fit with this one? What would have been different if this hadn't happened? Did I do everything I should have in this piece to get to this piece?
And I can't help but wonder if what many others have said is true...is life just a series of random occurrences?
I want it all to fit together perfectly, to make sense of it and analyze it and figure out how I got from Point A to Point B and where Point C might be.
But it just isn't working.
Honestly, I am loving my job. And while it does fit with one of my degrees, it doesn't with the other. I wonder if I just wasted my time and spent a whole lot of time spinning my wheels and causing myself unneeded stress to get to this point. Did I even pick the right degrees in the first place?
I guess I just feel guilty and strange about all the time I spent trying so hard to achieve and achieve and achieve to get to the point where I'm at. I wouldn't have had to do all that I did to be where I am now.
But I guess that wouldn't have made me who I am today.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Racewalking
It's not near as easy as it looks. If it looks easy, that is.
I've always been intrigued by racewalkers, and after we saw an Olympic competition on TV early this morning, Sean and I decided to give it a try. I thought, "If Billy Crystal can do it in When Harry Met Sally, surely I can, too."
I couldn't see how I looked, thankfully, but I'm sure it was pretty ridiculous. We tried it off an on for maybe a mile and then finally just gave up. It's incredibly different from regular walking and just incredibly difficult altogether. Maybe next time.
We're both pretty sad to see the Olympics come to a close. The Olympics have always been a cause for celebration in my mind, and I can vaguely remember watching the 1996 Olympics when I was just a kindergartner. I had this awesome Barbie and tried to make her do all the same moves the gymnasts were doing on TV...
I've always been intrigued by racewalkers, and after we saw an Olympic competition on TV early this morning, Sean and I decided to give it a try. I thought, "If Billy Crystal can do it in When Harry Met Sally, surely I can, too."
I couldn't see how I looked, thankfully, but I'm sure it was pretty ridiculous. We tried it off an on for maybe a mile and then finally just gave up. It's incredibly different from regular walking and just incredibly difficult altogether. Maybe next time.
We're both pretty sad to see the Olympics come to a close. The Olympics have always been a cause for celebration in my mind, and I can vaguely remember watching the 1996 Olympics when I was just a kindergartner. I had this awesome Barbie and tried to make her do all the same moves the gymnasts were doing on TV...
Of course, I wanted to become a gymnast, but Mom and Grandma both told me I'd bust my head. I got another gymnast Barbie instead (she came with uneven bars!). It's a close second, I guess.
So, from 1996 on, if the Olympics were on TV, I was watching them. Atlanta, Sydney, Athens, Beijing, London. I remember screaming at the TV when Michael Phelps was going for all those golds in Beijing, watching the USA women's volleyball indoor team religiously, watching Misty May and Kerri Walsh dominate the beach volleyball scene, and wondering why in the heck Usain Bolt slowed down at the end of the 100 meter race in 2008. (He redeemed himself in my eyes this year).
This time around, I was lucky enough to have some time off to watch events during the day, including but not limited to:
Women's rowing
Men's canoe slalom
Equestrian
Men's and women's beach volleyball
Men's and women's indoor volleyball
Men's road cycling and time trial
Men's and women's synchronized diving
Men's and women's platform diving
Men's and women's soccer
Men's and women's gymnastics
Men's and women's swimming
Men's and women's athletics
Men's heptathlon
Men's trampoline
Men's and women's weightlifting
Men's and women's water polo
Men's shooting
Men's tennis
And a whole bunch more, I'm sure. But there's something about it that's just magical. It makes me drop everything I'm doing and leave the television tuned to the Olympic station for nearly three weeks, screaming like crazy, trying to cheer on US athletes even though "portions of this broadcast have been prerecorded."It just does that to you.
So when 2016 rolls around, you know where I'll be...parked in front of the television cheering on team USA!
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
Life without a debit card...
sucks.
I applied to be put on Sean's account (at a bank that will remain nameless) more than a month ago, and I have still not received a debit card or the updated checks. I called the company's 800 number, and come to find out, I'm not even listed on the account at all. What gives?
It's made me acutely aware of how much I always relied on having a debit card. Let's just say that life without one isn't near as easy. Luckily, I've got a credit card in case of emergencies.
In other news, Misty May and Kerri Walsh defeated the Chinese team tonight in a tight squeeze in the Olympic semifinal. I love that I can still watch athletes that I idolized growing up playing volleyball. Here's to hoping they've got one more gold medal in them!
I applied to be put on Sean's account (at a bank that will remain nameless) more than a month ago, and I have still not received a debit card or the updated checks. I called the company's 800 number, and come to find out, I'm not even listed on the account at all. What gives?
It's made me acutely aware of how much I always relied on having a debit card. Let's just say that life without one isn't near as easy. Luckily, I've got a credit card in case of emergencies.
In other news, Misty May and Kerri Walsh defeated the Chinese team tonight in a tight squeeze in the Olympic semifinal. I love that I can still watch athletes that I idolized growing up playing volleyball. Here's to hoping they've got one more gold medal in them!
Monday, August 06, 2012
It's all up from here
First day down, and I've got to admit, I'm feeling a little down. That whole thing about always expecting perfection from yourself and being disappointed when what you're capable of and what you expect yourself to be capable of don't exactly meet.
But then I try to remind myself, I was hired for a reason, right? I may not be able to do the job 100% to my expectations, but I sure did try as hard as I could. And that's got to count for something.
Had a discussion with Sean tonight about how I was horrible about having a definite set of goals throughout college and post graduation. I think I had been frustrated so many times by things not working out that I decided to just go with the flow and try and take things as they came along. However, I still imagined myself in some undefinable cushy, well-paying job straight out the gate, and that just isn't the reality for anyone. Adjusting to a 40-hour a week schedule is hard, and from talking to friends, I realize that no one is really ready and prepared to enter the workforce. You just do it, hope for the best and try to adjust.
I've got a lot of learning to do, but I'm sure hoping I can do it fast and do this job to the best of my ability. Heck, I'm lucky to have a job.
So, even though the first day didn't go quite as planned, it's all up from here, right?
But then I try to remind myself, I was hired for a reason, right? I may not be able to do the job 100% to my expectations, but I sure did try as hard as I could. And that's got to count for something.
Had a discussion with Sean tonight about how I was horrible about having a definite set of goals throughout college and post graduation. I think I had been frustrated so many times by things not working out that I decided to just go with the flow and try and take things as they came along. However, I still imagined myself in some undefinable cushy, well-paying job straight out the gate, and that just isn't the reality for anyone. Adjusting to a 40-hour a week schedule is hard, and from talking to friends, I realize that no one is really ready and prepared to enter the workforce. You just do it, hope for the best and try to adjust.
I've got a lot of learning to do, but I'm sure hoping I can do it fast and do this job to the best of my ability. Heck, I'm lucky to have a job.
So, even though the first day didn't go quite as planned, it's all up from here, right?
Saturday, August 04, 2012
Poetic Justice...or The Earth Still Spins without Facebook
I'm on Pinterest...a lot. And I frequently get inspired by the number of quotes that scroll across the screen as I'm searching for things I like. One I recently saw discussed how difficult change is and how deliberate you have to be in your day-to-day life in order to change something about yourself. So, here goes:
I am (was?) an ultimate Facebook creeper. Day in, day out, basically any down time I had or anytime I was only sort of watching a TV show, I'd be on Facebook looking at other people's pictures, reading about their lives, adventures, accomplishments, etc. I can't say that that was too awful since it's nice to know what's going on in your friends' lives. But what's hidden under the surface and what was built into the site from the very beginning (Have you seen The Social Network? You'll know what I'm talking about) was an element of comparison followed closely by its good pal jealousy. You compare one person to another. You compare another person to yourself. Then suddenly, your good life doesn't seem all that great. Other people are out there doing bigger, better, more important, more exciting things. And it's not something you want to admit to yourself as you sit down to go through your newsfeed. It's a thought you push to the back of your mind and try to ignore. But it's still there, and it's still the truth.
I'd like to pretend that putting jealousy at bay was the real reason I decided to give up Facebook, but that wasn't it at all. It was just a really good by-product.
What it really was was a series of political comments, statements, cartoons, articles being posted and the like that I just couldn't handle any more. When it comes time for election season, everyone goes berserk. People that I like, people that I would like to think have some few ounces of common sense just completely lose it. They post some pretty ridiculous things, and it really gets under my skin. And it's not only view that don't coincide with my own, but comments being made from people all over the political spectrum. People that don't do their research when it comes to intricate political matters and just say some really ridiculous, ignorant things. I'm not pretending to have any deep knowledge of anything political because I don't. But then again, I don't shout bogus claims from the rooftops.
I guess, in the end, it's an issue of respect.
These people aren't respecting their friends who have different viewpoints, they're not respecting the political process, and they're not respecting the fact that they themselves have a reputation that could be tarnished by making some outrageous statements that have no basis in fact. Just because they saw it on a news program or some political commercial.
So I've decided to remove myself from the Facebook and Twitter worlds until sometime after November 6, otherwise known as Election Day. I realize that people will still say stupid things after the election is long over, but at least the worst should be behind us all by then.
At first, it was mainly an exercise in lowering my blood pressure, but it has become a lot more. I've realized that life does exist outside of Facebook, and I was mainly just making myself miserable scrolling and scrolling through other people's baggage. Comparing myself to others, getting upset at stupid things being said, and generally just wasting a whole lot of time.
I can't say that it hasn't been hard and my fingers haven't been twitching a little, but it sure is nice here on the other side.
And as for the poetic side of it?
Less than an hour after I had made my decision to quit Facebook, I got a call offering me a job that I accepted. Guess my Facebook friends won't know about it for another three months.
Oh, well.
I am (was?) an ultimate Facebook creeper. Day in, day out, basically any down time I had or anytime I was only sort of watching a TV show, I'd be on Facebook looking at other people's pictures, reading about their lives, adventures, accomplishments, etc. I can't say that that was too awful since it's nice to know what's going on in your friends' lives. But what's hidden under the surface and what was built into the site from the very beginning (Have you seen The Social Network? You'll know what I'm talking about) was an element of comparison followed closely by its good pal jealousy. You compare one person to another. You compare another person to yourself. Then suddenly, your good life doesn't seem all that great. Other people are out there doing bigger, better, more important, more exciting things. And it's not something you want to admit to yourself as you sit down to go through your newsfeed. It's a thought you push to the back of your mind and try to ignore. But it's still there, and it's still the truth.
I'd like to pretend that putting jealousy at bay was the real reason I decided to give up Facebook, but that wasn't it at all. It was just a really good by-product.
What it really was was a series of political comments, statements, cartoons, articles being posted and the like that I just couldn't handle any more. When it comes time for election season, everyone goes berserk. People that I like, people that I would like to think have some few ounces of common sense just completely lose it. They post some pretty ridiculous things, and it really gets under my skin. And it's not only view that don't coincide with my own, but comments being made from people all over the political spectrum. People that don't do their research when it comes to intricate political matters and just say some really ridiculous, ignorant things. I'm not pretending to have any deep knowledge of anything political because I don't. But then again, I don't shout bogus claims from the rooftops.
I guess, in the end, it's an issue of respect.
These people aren't respecting their friends who have different viewpoints, they're not respecting the political process, and they're not respecting the fact that they themselves have a reputation that could be tarnished by making some outrageous statements that have no basis in fact. Just because they saw it on a news program or some political commercial.
So I've decided to remove myself from the Facebook and Twitter worlds until sometime after November 6, otherwise known as Election Day. I realize that people will still say stupid things after the election is long over, but at least the worst should be behind us all by then.
At first, it was mainly an exercise in lowering my blood pressure, but it has become a lot more. I've realized that life does exist outside of Facebook, and I was mainly just making myself miserable scrolling and scrolling through other people's baggage. Comparing myself to others, getting upset at stupid things being said, and generally just wasting a whole lot of time.
I can't say that it hasn't been hard and my fingers haven't been twitching a little, but it sure is nice here on the other side.
And as for the poetic side of it?
Less than an hour after I had made my decision to quit Facebook, I got a call offering me a job that I accepted. Guess my Facebook friends won't know about it for another three months.
Oh, well.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
To travel
For some reason, I just have that itch to travel again. It's never really gone away, but now, it's just itchier than ever.
This guy's 15 Favorite Places In the World had something to do with it.
I've only been to one destination, which has the top spot, no less, but it just made me think about how little of the world I have seen. I had to laugh at his post about St. Petersburg, Russia and started thinking about Eastern European countries. I got on the trusty ol' Kayak app for iPhone and started looking up prices for flights to Vilnius and Klaipeda, Lithuania. I have this desperate desire to see where my history was born, but at the same time, it's absolutely frightening to think about the language barrier and whether or not I'd be able to get around safely and successfully. Somehow, I don't think that will stop me.
Money might. Or lack thereof, more specifically.
I'm so jealous of travel-blogger-guy because that's what I'd love to be doing. I can't help but wonder if I missed out on some opportunity or if I'm not courageous enough to just go out and do it.
And I guess that brings me to this other post of his that I actually read first. Some of it was a little hard to swallow, but I was pleasantly surprised by his commentary on happiness:
"Our inability to confront anything unpleasant around us has not only created a national sense of entitlement, but it’s disconnected us from what actually drives happiness: relationships, unique experiences, feeling self-validated, achieving personal goals."
Unique experiences, I think, are a huge chunk of what Sean and I enjoy together and why we're so intent on traveling. It's why we're trying life in this new city and exploring.
The job hunt has been frustrating for me probably because I have no idea what I would actually even like to do, but also because it's so difficult to find jobs I'm properly qualified for. It's either high school diploma/GED and minimum wage or Master's of some sort. And of course, I fall right in the middle. I know I just need to look harder, but it sure would be nice to have a job I enjoy. Then again, I can't expect this to be the only job I'm ever going to have. Just need to get my foot in the door and make some money so we can travel.
Then there's this problem of indecision when we actually have the time and money to travel - where to go? For awhile, I was dead-set on London. Easy, because it's an English speaking country, but it has so much history and so much to explore. Then, I thought, Paris had to be it. The Eiffel Tower, the beautiful winding streets and cafes and lights twinkling at night. Then, I saw a Rick Steves episode on Sicily, and Italy was the place. Good food, friendly people, the Mediterranean. Then Lithuania, my family history, the opportunity to learn the language, see the Hill of Crosses.
And then I saw that list and have to admit, I never really considered Brazil or much of South America, other than Peru because of Sean's connections with his former host family there. So, I guess for now, I'll just keep changing my mind and dreaming until the day comes that we've got some money saved up and can finally hit the road again.
This guy's 15 Favorite Places In the World had something to do with it.
I've only been to one destination, which has the top spot, no less, but it just made me think about how little of the world I have seen. I had to laugh at his post about St. Petersburg, Russia and started thinking about Eastern European countries. I got on the trusty ol' Kayak app for iPhone and started looking up prices for flights to Vilnius and Klaipeda, Lithuania. I have this desperate desire to see where my history was born, but at the same time, it's absolutely frightening to think about the language barrier and whether or not I'd be able to get around safely and successfully. Somehow, I don't think that will stop me.
Money might. Or lack thereof, more specifically.
I'm so jealous of travel-blogger-guy because that's what I'd love to be doing. I can't help but wonder if I missed out on some opportunity or if I'm not courageous enough to just go out and do it.
And I guess that brings me to this other post of his that I actually read first. Some of it was a little hard to swallow, but I was pleasantly surprised by his commentary on happiness:
"Our inability to confront anything unpleasant around us has not only created a national sense of entitlement, but it’s disconnected us from what actually drives happiness: relationships, unique experiences, feeling self-validated, achieving personal goals."
Unique experiences, I think, are a huge chunk of what Sean and I enjoy together and why we're so intent on traveling. It's why we're trying life in this new city and exploring.
The job hunt has been frustrating for me probably because I have no idea what I would actually even like to do, but also because it's so difficult to find jobs I'm properly qualified for. It's either high school diploma/GED and minimum wage or Master's of some sort. And of course, I fall right in the middle. I know I just need to look harder, but it sure would be nice to have a job I enjoy. Then again, I can't expect this to be the only job I'm ever going to have. Just need to get my foot in the door and make some money so we can travel.
Then there's this problem of indecision when we actually have the time and money to travel - where to go? For awhile, I was dead-set on London. Easy, because it's an English speaking country, but it has so much history and so much to explore. Then, I thought, Paris had to be it. The Eiffel Tower, the beautiful winding streets and cafes and lights twinkling at night. Then, I saw a Rick Steves episode on Sicily, and Italy was the place. Good food, friendly people, the Mediterranean. Then Lithuania, my family history, the opportunity to learn the language, see the Hill of Crosses.
And then I saw that list and have to admit, I never really considered Brazil or much of South America, other than Peru because of Sean's connections with his former host family there. So, I guess for now, I'll just keep changing my mind and dreaming until the day comes that we've got some money saved up and can finally hit the road again.