In A Little While

Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone's soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd. -Jalaluddin Rumi, poet and mystic
(1207-1273)

Persons appear to us according to the light we throw upon them from our own minds. -Laura Ingalls Wilder, author (1867-1957)

The real measure of our wealth is how much we'd be worth if we lost all our money. -John Henry Jowett, preacher (1864-1923)

Do not be too quick to assume your enemy is a savage just because he is your enemy. Perhaps he is your enemy because he thinks you are a savage. Or perhaps he is afraid of you because he feels that you are afraid of him. And perhaps if he believed you are capable of loving him he would no longer be your enemy. -Thomas Merton, writer (1915-1968)

If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. -William Blake, poet, engraver, and painter (1757-1827)

The most futile thing in this world is any attempt, perhaps, at exact definition of character. All individuals are a bundle of contradictions -- none more so than the most capable. -Theodore Dreiser, author (1871-1945)

A great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up. -Albert Schweitzer, philosopher, physician, musician, Nobelist
(1875-1965)

The trouble with words is that you never know whose mouths they've been in. -Dennis Potter, dramatist (1935-1994)

Every man's memory is his private literature. -Aldous Huxley, novelist
(1894-1963)

Genius is eternal patience. -Michelangelo Buonarroti, sculptor, painter, architect, and poet (1475-1564)

Love involves a peculiar, unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding. -Diane Arbus, photographer (1923-1971)



I'm the biggest hypocrite I know. Again and again, it's peace that I want, peace that I seem to think I have, but then things happen and I realize that it's all but true.

I try not to get worked up about things, but when someone who has completely broken your heart leaves a voicemail months and months later to apologize, how do you handle that? And differently, how do you handle giving your heart to someone who can't appreciate it, or can't show appreciation for it?

I'm one of those people you leave and then remember on down the road. And, of course, I'll always be there, so what is it to me if you're not there for me? I'll always be there for you.

I want to live freely, but ironically enough, freely with someone. I want someone to be able to come along for the ride that is my life, someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to be ridiculously crazy one second, and completely serious the next. I want someone who will agree with some of my ideas but still have enough spice to keep things interesting. I want someone who can match me and then some. I want someone who can one-up me in a charming way. I want someone who will, most importantly appreciate me for who I am.

It's too soon to be looking, sure. And I have friends that I absolutely adore. But it would be so nice to just have someone special. To know that there's someone that cares about me as much as I care about them, and I won't have to worry about a heart breaking once again.

I'm scared, and I'm brave. I'm intelligent, and I'm idiotic. I'm prepared, and I'm never ready. I'm tired of thinking that things are what they aren't. I'm tired of being unpleasantly surprised.

I want someone who will go to concerts with me, even if it's bands they don't like. I want someone who will write me poetry, who will speak poetry to me, even if it's ridiculous. I want someone that I can joke with, yet be the most serious person I know.

It is possible, and I've seen it, if only once or twice. And it fills and breaks my heart all at once to know that there are people out there that can trust each other with their hearts completely, but I simply can't do it with mine. Although I try and try and foolishly try again.

Here I am fighting for something I don't even have and may never find. Foolish? Sure.

That's all I know for tonight.