Walk on the Ocean

Weekend time! Yesss!!! Long week...extremely glad it's over. Was sitting in Civics today and thought, "Dang, today is Friday! It doesn't even feel like a Friday!!!" So, that made my day! That, and Kayla being an awesome friend! How cool is that?!?

Let's see...since Wednesday. Ahh, yes. Went on the driving range bright and early Thursday morning and just screwed up parallel parking. I wouldn't be that mad about it, but I know that I had done it really good before, so that just sucked. Then, we went on Missouri Blvd. and I got a 96...good part of the day! Geometry ripped as usual, and in Civics we went to the book fair again and then talked the rest of the class and listened to Peter tell stupid jokes. Drama was fun - we had ice cream and Jr. and me talked about how he invented the Blizzard...very long and complicated story. Went to weightlifting and week 3 is OVER! Half-way there...

Today we were back in the classroom in Driver's Ed, Geometry sucked, and to say the least, Civics was very entertaining. Obermiller keeps saying that the class has corrupted me, and I'm like, "No, it's just that I didn't have anybody to talk to in the 1st block class!" So we got into this big debate thing, and it was awesome! It started out with a letter to George Washington explaining what we thought about one of his quotes about political parties being dangerous. Somehow, it led to Obermiller asking the question, "If you could have voted in the last election, who would you have voted for and give me two reasons why?" I was all over that like flies on stink. Everyone knows that Obermiller is a hard-core republican, and Hope was like, "You know, no matter how much you argue, he's still going think he's right". And I agreed but had to give it a stab, anyway. Talked about the war in Iraq and how it was a cover-up for what wasn't happening as far as capturing members of the Taliban/Al-Queda, and, obviously, Osama bin Laden. Yes, Saddam was a cruel leader and had dealt with us in the past, but that's not what this war was about. They were not getting results, and the family members and friends of 9/11 victims and even just regular citizens wanted to see action...see results. These were the wrong results, a totally different scenerio, and even the 9/11 Commission has agreed that there were no ties between Saddam and the terrorist attacks. Amazingly, I left Obermiller speechless...he didn't have a comeback and everyone was in shock that he didn't say anything. Chalk one up for the Dems, baby! Hope, Yemnah, "Amen sister!" Didn't even get to mention jobs, the economy, and education. I think the point was proven, nonetheless.

There's a game tonight, but it might get rained out. Then, it's over to Sydney's for the night and more games tomorrow! Got a little Geometry...review packet, of course, and I'm fuming because some of the Geometry classes are just starting the Cottage project which we did at least 2 weeks ago. And Campbell's always like, "We're gonna go over lesson 10.1 really quick because we have other stuff to do," and we all do bad on the quizzes because we don't even know the material. She goes over it way too fast, and talks the entire class period. It amazes me, but more than anything, angers me!!! Talking for and hour and a half straight. Absolutely insane...and we have to listen to it!!! Grrrrr... Oh, well, what is it? 4 more weeks left? Like 20 days or something? Can't wait for it much longer...


We spotted the ocean at the head of the trail
Where are we going, so far away
And somebody told me that this is the place
Where everything’s better, everything’s safe
Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone
And half and hour later we packed up our things
We said we’d send letters and all those little things
And they knew we were lying but they smiled just the same
It seemed they’d already forgotten we’d came

Now we’re back at the homestead
Where the air makes you choke
And people don’t know you
And trust is a joke
We don’t even have pictures
Just memories to hold
That grow sweeter each season
As we slowly grow old

Gates of the Country

Oh man. There's this unpleasant knowledge that tomorrow is Monday and another full school week looms ahead...and of course, it will be Monday.

Team pictures were on Friday and me and Lauren had some good times..."I want food!" "Where is she?" And then, of course, things didn't go quite as planned and we ended up doing some illegal stuff...according to Lauren at least. "If we get caught, we're gonna get a ticket!" But, hey, desperate times call for desperate measures, what can I say? And then we thought we were gonna blow up and die. "As long as I'm not here when it happens!!!" "Lauren has a hot date tonight!!!" And, of course, King Louie! Dang that was fun! So then, Lauren invites me to the movies and I'm like, "Sorry chick, I'm gonna eat me some steak tonight!" Sometimes you just can't help it...me and the fajah went to Ryan's and had some very delicious steak! And other stuff too, of course. "You might be a redneck if you have to eat your pie with a spoon because your waiter took your fork!!!" Then, I decided that I wore the wrong pants - they were too tight...how did that happen? : D Anyway, before the whole Ryan's episode me and the fajah went to the driving range and worked on the T-exercise and all that stuff...seriously, it is so much easier just to drive on the road!!! Then came home and had a very interesting conversation to say the least! New record for talking to a single person on AIM - 5:15 AM Needless to say, I learned quite a few things and got some awesome advice! ; ) Wow...still laughing about that one!

Woke up and went to the soccer fields...flew solo for the day. Did a pretty darn good job, might I say...even though I left the piece for the tripod at home >:( Had some good times...very entertaining!!! Then me and Dad went out to eat at Steak-n-Shake. Anyone noticing a pattern here? Mom and Wen were in KC for volleyball regionals, and, personally, I think Dad just didn't want to cook (don't tell him I said that...eating out is fine with me!!!) Came home and I don't even know what I did...mostly stuff on the cpu I guess. Then read for a little and went to bed.

Got up at 11 today, against my wishes, of course. Ate breakfast, cleaned my room, then went outside. Tried to lay out, but Wendy decided she would be cute and make water balloons. She hit me like 5 different times, so I finally just got up and chased her down. I threw her cooler of balloons down and then just took her and pretty much wrestled her to the ground...and of course pinned her until she started screaming, and then waited a little longer after that just so she got the point - don't mess with me. And then tonight...ok, excuse this, but I just have to say it. Don't you just hate it when stuff is just so completely pointless, so you just decide to make it fun and then get your butt chewed for trying to keep things light? Honestly! It is the stupidest frickin thing I have ever seen...people are always goofing off and then when I do it, it's like a freaking capital crime. Jeez! Why can't people just lighten up? Obviously everyone is with me on this one except for one person, and for all I care, it wouldn't bother me if we never saw each other again. It's just like, why can't we just have fun for once?!? It's not like we're going to get anything done anyway! There's only 7 people here!!! Just keep reminding myself...the 30th, the 30th, the 30th. As far as volleyball the sport is concerned, no worries there. Still love it more than ever, so I guess that is the one and only constant good. But a good nonetheless, and in this situation, even a miniscule amount of good is a very good thing.

Enough of that, watching Good Morning, Veitnam and Grumpy Old Men, well, really, haven't watched them yet, but want to, which is why I must be going.

I LOVE BLACK LAB!


Back in New York
The 31st floor
It seems somehow everything's changed
The kitchen too small
Plates on the wall
The sound of machinery

Where have you been?
Who were you running with?
Wasn’t he someone you used to call home?
Where is the ring?
Where is the boy who went travelling alone?

What’s going on?
What are you running from?
Some people change
Others hang on till they can't anymore

She is much better without me.
She walks through the gates of the country
Her hands at her side
And I smile as I watch her walk by
Somehow I see there are ships in her eyes
She is better off now

Short Skirt Long Jacket

You seriously would not believe all the crap I got for wearing a skirt today...it was ridiculous!!! "Amy (or Backes...depending on who was talking to me!)...wearing a skirt? I don't believe it!!!" Honestly, skirts just aren't my thing. Just don't care for them at all! Just one of those random days I thought I'd surprise everyone...I get a kick out of it, actually. Should dress differently more often!

Enough of that. Yesterday was my cousin's wedding shower and we were there from 11 to like 6:45. It was crazy! Just family, but Sadie was there! There are some really cute pictures I might try to put on here or Xanga as soon as I get them on the puter! ~News flash~ Mom bought a scanner!!! So that will come in handy, too! Gotta love technology! (KIP!!! ;) ) I got to drive home from my cousin's, past JC, uptown, and down West Main...it was wicked.

Driver's Ed was first thing this morning, and we actually went out on the street. Neighborhoods, mostly. Let me just say, compared to my driver peers (the kids in the car with me), I'm quite advanced...and that's scary! Coach Fox had to use his brake three times when this one chick was driving...let's just say, I was in fear for my life. She almost ran into at least five parked cars and he had to jerk the wheel away from her. Scary!

Survived Coach Salmon's "I'm-gonna-kill-you conditioning/weightlifting" but just barely!!! I think it was the closest near-death experience I've ever had...not even kidding! But pain is weakness leaving the body...pain is temporary...it's all a mind game. Personally, (let's see if this one comes back and hits me in the face...all the instant-karma crap) being an athlete is almost more in your mind than your body. You can have the most physically fit person in the world, but if their mind is not in it, they are nothing. It's about ignoring your body, no matter how much it screams, how much you want to quit, to just lay down and die. It's all in your mind. You have to tell yourself you can, even though your body is saying you can't. It's definitely intense, and makes you respect real athletes even more.

Dad let me drive home in 5 o' clock traffic after that. He was really good about being the passenger, I must say. I didn't do too shabby as a driver, either, might I add!

This terrible thing called geometry is looming in the all-too-near future. Joy oh joy. Get to build a COTTAGE! My lifelong dream! Alas, another personality flaw (finding those a lot, lately) that I will procrastinate to a certain extent, but then, spend all this time on it getting it just right. And still end up missing an ungodly amount of points because IT'S A CONSPIRACY!!! Campbell is out to get me, I just know it!

Out for now...


I want a girl with a mind like a diamond
I want a girl who knows what’s best
I want a girl with shoes that cut
And eyes that burn like cigarettes

I want a girl with the right allocations
Who’s fast, thorough, and sharp as a tack
She’s playing with her jewelry
She’s putting up her hair
She’s touring the facilities
And picking up the slack
I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket

Have You Seen Me Lately

Sometimes things just seem so hard, like it's never going to get any better. It's not that I don't want to be happy, but it isn't possible. Or maybe it is, and it's just that I'm allowing myself to think that it isn't. Just wrestling my own thoughts more than anything, I guess.

My grandma has been sick and it sounds like she's not getting much better. Isn't it funny how you can think one thing, but in reality have a totally different opinion? When it happens to you, then you think of it in a whole new light. So much for opinions. Just gonna keep my mouth shut.

Anyway, staying with Grandma tonight and tomorrow we have range in the morning in Driver's Ed...dreading it.

More than anything, my mind is a roadblock. Overcoming it is the answer, but it is an ominous process, one that I have not seen an end to and the results have yet to be reached.


This isn't gonna be easy
Believe me
And these days I feel like I'm fading away

Have you seen me lately
I was out on the radio starting to change
Somewhere out in America, it's raining
Could you tell me one thing you remember about me
And have you seen me lately

I remember me
And all the little things that make up a memory
Have you seen me lately
I guess I thought that someone would notice
I guess I thought somebody would say something
If I was missing
Can't you see me
Come on color me in
Give me your blue rain
Give me your black sky

I was out on the radio starting to change
Somewhere out in America, it's raining
Could you tell me one thing you remember about me
And have you seen me lately
Have you seen me lately

Put On Your Goggles, Kids! It's Time To Play Some Ball!

I must say that Jalin is absolutely one of my favorite people ever. I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks because I was laughing so hard. She is seriously one of the funniest people I know!
"Put on your goggles, kids! It's time to play some ball!"
"Brooke, you don't have your googles on!"
"Stephanie, you're a slacker...you're the reason we're losing this game!"
"Jalin, what are you doing?" "Making fun of Stephanie"
"Hope...how do you spell that? H-O-E-I-P? What about H-O-O-P-E? That's like hoop but with an "e" on it! Hooooooope. Or H-O-E-P because that's like hoe with a "p" on it. Or you could spell it H-O-E-P-E"
"How do you spell your name? A-M-Y? You should spell it with an "i" and then you could say, 'Hi! I'm Ami with an 'i'!"
"Shoe-five"
"Stephanie, you're a skank."
"Should I show this to Brant?" "What is it?" "I got a fishing hook caught on my wrist."
"Set me and I'll slam it on their heads!"
"Caroline you are so stupid! You got us all messed up again!"
"Your shoes look like clay"
"I ordered my shoes at The Foot Locker...not Lady Foot Locker but the guy one. I ordered them from the catalog. Then, they sent them to my house for free! So, I came home and tried them on and they fit! I wore them to practice and everybody was like, 'Cool shoes'. Then Stephanie came to my house and we ate and watched T.V. and went to bed. The end."
Jalin, you are the best!!!

As you may have guessed, today was a tourney day, and we actually did fairly well. 6-6...best tournament record yet. Lost our very last game 23-25, which always sucks because you are so close that you could have won. Pretty fun day overall. Hope and I had some very interesting discussions about coaches and whatnot! ;) Not to mention our favorite hot guys!!! Got home early (about 5:30) because there were 7 teams and we didn't do tournament play...only a 7 team pool-play thing. Took 4th. Not terrible, not the best, either, but not terrible.

The pope died. Figured he would sooner or later. Sorry I'm not more sentimental, but I'm not Catholic and people die all the time. He's just a glorified priest, pastor, church leader - whatever. People die, end of story. It's gonna happen to everyone.

But, I must say, his death had amazing timing...instead of having the Major League Soccer on ABC like scheduled, they moved it to ESPN (they were showing the pope's death on ABC) and it came on after the NCAA slam-dunk contest which I happened to be watching. I was psyched. D.C. United vs. Chivas USA. D.C. won (duh) 2-0 and I found my new future husband...Joshua Gros...that boy is fine!!! Makes me really regret not watching soccer all these years...look what I was missing!!!! Dang!

Chilled all yesterday and made my own promotional volleyball video tape...it's pretty schweet, if I do say so myself! Look what boredom can do to you...

Now is the time when I must be going...not too many other exciting things are going on in my life. Might go to Moberly on Tuesday to be a minion...guess we'll see about that. But, for now, there is geometry to be done and movies to be watched! Got A Beautiful Mind for Easter and that is one of my all-time faves without a doubt! Later!

Running to Stand Still

This is pretty schweet! I'm enjoying it...nice to have something new and different.

The week is over and I couldn't be happier! Only went to school 3 days because I did get that one-day extention I was talking about in the earlier post...not like it was enjoyable or anything though. In fact, it was quite the contrary, absolutely miserable! But, those things happen and I'm still trying to battle the sickness. Sinus infections suck.

So, dragged myself through school Wednesday and then went to joyous practice. Been off of my knees for two weeks and figured that I'd just give it a try, everything would be fine. Boy, was I wrong! Don't think I made it even halfway through and they were just killing me. Not only that, I thought I was going to throw up - the sickness was not at all helping the situation. So, I sat. Great way to end the day.

Some good things happened on Thursday: NO GEOMETRY QUIZ! And Lauren and I got to manage soccer. We are the best, no doubt. That has got to be some of the most fun ever! The JV team won 1-0 and Varsity won 5-2. I must say that George is absolutely awesome!!! She scored 3 of the 5 goals and was just tearin it up! I was like, "That's my girl!" Abby scored a goal, too, and Megan got to start! All I got to say is GO FRESHIES!!!

Last day of the week today, and it definitely felt like it. Wendy thought she'd be cute cause it was April Fool's Day, so she set all the alarm clocks in the house for 6 and put them all in my room. I was not pleased. But I shut them all off (I think there were like 9) and laid back down. And she came in my room and went out to the kitchen and said to Dad, "She's sleeping!" So, I successfully won that one...didn't give her the benefit of the doubt of how much it pissed me off. School was long...had that geometry quiz, got a C+ on my Driver's Ed quiz! 12 out of 16, baby! But it all got better in Civics when we had a sub (yessss!) and then we come back in after lunch and hear, "HE THREW MY SHOE OUT THE WINDOW!!!" And so everyone is crowded around the window and we soon learn that Sam Peterson threw Megan Valdiviez's shoe out the window from our 2nd floor classroom. The sub made him go down to the office and tell them what he did, get his pass signed by the office after he told them, and then go out and get her shoe. Dang, that was hilarious! Did some fun acting today in drama...me and Carlos are definitely the bomb! And Megan and I are some awesome visual aids!!!

After school, Mom picked me up and she had my grandma with her and we went to T.J. Maxx and then to my g-ma's house. Got to drive home, and once again, Mom was the worst person in the world to drive with...I'm gonna make her sit in the back of the van when I drive so she can't see what's going on! Oh well, it's good driving practice nonetheless.

Been contemplating a lot lately, don't really know why, but I guess situations call for it. I don't really feel like I'm going anywhere - running to stand still. Just need to let go - release.



You got to cry without weeping
Talk without speaking
Scream without raising your voice



I see the world, feel the chill
Which way to go, windowsill
I see the world's on a rocking horse of time
I see the verse in the rain

I'll ride the wave where it takes me
I'll hold the pain
Release me